Breathe Harley, it's all just a joke
by Beware the evil Mau5
Summary: Why would a psychopath clown be interested in a talented gymnast? Why, by the tricks she could have under her sleeve! So begins a Gymnast fixation to die for. Young Harley/TDK Joker mixed w/BTAS Joker. Different Origin of the infamous Harley Quinn.
1. Preface

**a/n: Hey Porcelain Ballerina here :]**

**As we're all aware of: Batman, Harley Quinn, Gotham City, Metropolis and other nouns are property and created by from the DC Comics Family.**

**(R.I.P Heath Ledger, you really went out with a bang and you'll never be forgotten)**

**Don't own it.**

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**Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke**

**Preface**

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**Mad**.-adj. _Formal_ 1. Very irritated; angry. 2. Suffering from a disorder of the mind; crazy insane. 3. Very foolish; rash. 4 Liking almost too much; overly enthusiastic. 5. Wildly excited or confused; frantic. 6. Affected by rabies; rabid. _Informal_ 1. With great energy. 2. To a great extent.

**Love**. - n. 1- A feeling of affection, concerned or devotion towards a person. 2a. something that is very much liked (_Gardening is her great love_) b. A strong liking for something (_a love of reading_) 3. A beloved person. 4. A score of zero in tennis. 5. To feel love or strong affection for. 6. To like enthusiastically; delight it.

Hmph.

These definitions for these words have something in common, well two of the definitions, mind you. Like the fourth one of the first word with the sixth one of the second word. How funny how words, in a way could be so alike.

She stood on top of a hill with a white gown billowing in the wind but yet her baby blues could not detect how the crooked trees moved in motion; you could feel the wind but could not see the reaction it gave to the objects around her. She looked up to the sky and it poured in, not in its usual colors, but in a soothing purple and majestic green swirling all around her.

She raised a hand up and touched the yellow star and touched the black star. They were right in front of her amused face. The yellow star provided security, compassion, cleverness, still and gentle silence, but the black one provided freedom, excitement, a rite of passage and also provided love for her. All were very persuasive.

But which one would she choose?

Then, far away in the dark abyss of the faint city, a child's laughter could be heard. And he laughed like never before. Insane-as most people would recall and state.

And she smiled.

Like she'd never smiled before.


	2. The Strawberry Girl

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**a/n: Hey Porcelain Ballerina here :]**

**As we're all aware of: Batman, Harley Quinn, Gotham City, Metropolis and other nouns are property and created by Bob Kane (R.I.P) from the DC Comics Family.**

**(R.I.P Heath Ledger, you really went out with a bang and you'll never be forgotten)**

**Don't own it.**

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Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke

**The Strawberry Girl**

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Lying to someone with more authority than a bobbysoxer was something that Harleen Quinzel was not familiar with.

So of course, when a group of high school students get caught messing around with the disgusting and over processed food in the kitchen of the school cafeteria; Harleen Quinzel is being put in the spotlight.

But wait?

Why would Harleen Quinzel be with those peevish kids in the first place? Well the answer is obvious, isn't? Like in every story-fairy tale-There is a boy included. Those gorgeous honey-brown eyes and luscious pink lips was that that was needed to seduce Harleen into being dragged into this.

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A pair of hands was entwined and resting on a desk. The room was lit with sunlight that arose from the gaps of the neat office of the principal of Gotham High. Mr. Baker sighed and turned his gaze to his student sitting in front of his desk. He noticed how nervous she was, how her hands were kept into tiny fists that shook and how her eyes were peering all around his office were. As if this was the first time she's been in here. Harleen Quinzel has been in here many times-don't get me wrong though.

Awards, attendance certificates and 4.0 GPA'S are what got Harleen in here. But this time it was different. This time she was in here because she was caught with the other kids in the cafeteria. Mr. Baker pondered why Harleen was hanging out with kids like Jake Dalle and Violet Squalor. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding; she could have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Little did he know, Harleen wasn't there by accident. No, she was 'helping' them or rather helping Jake Dalle. So to begin the questioning, he cleared his throat and his nose twitched.

Harleen turned her eyes to him.

"Miss Quinzel," he started, leaning on his chair. This was Mr. Baker's way of finding out if the student was lying and poking fun at him, but this time he wasn't trying to intimidate at student. "If you can, please help by telling me what happened in the cafeteria along with your classmates?" He asked gently.

Mr. Baker was young; a freshly new one in the school faculty. And not to mention but he was easy on the eyes. With that smooth voice of his and stylish hair all gelled up and those friendly aqua-green eyes, Harleen felt relaxed by his friendly tone.

Harleen nodded and her blonde pigtails mimicked her. "…You see Principal Baker, I.." She stopped and thought of what Kim Elliot told her.

'_Come on Harleen, you're the only he'll believe. Save us from getting detention this summer! Violet and I will take you shopping, promise!'_

Well…this would help everyone, wouldn't? No detention, new clothes, maybe even new friendships…and chit-chat with Jake Dalle.

Harleen smiled dreamily but then put a serious face on. "…I was with them…because we had to examine how the hygiene was in the area of food activity of said place. In this case, it would mean Gotham High cafeteria. Because Kim's sister is in the career for Analysis and Technology of Foods. And they were left to investigate any area they wanted…But, err Kim's sister couldn't come because she's ill."

Harleen's eyes shone with compassion and sincerity. Though there was a sign of nervousness in them. Mr. Baker examined her glaze and stance; she stood prim and proper. He sighed and took his glasses off.

"I'm sure that I believe you Miss Quinzel, but you all did this without warning and without permission."

Harleen nodded. "And on behalf of me and the whole group, we're terribly sorry that we were imprudent of our actions. I'm sure you understand Principal Baker that this was committed out of fear of the response you could have given us, but we learned our lesson and will ask for permission next time. We regret not asking you."

Mr. Baker blinked with his mouth agape at Harleen's realization of her wrong doing. And how she took it with more maturity than student he's talked to. And the stern tone from her childish voice helped it just a bit more.

He was speechless.

"…Er…Very well Miss Quinzel…But take this as a very severe warning. Next time your pals won't be so lucky to have you around." Harleen was about to blurt out the real truth but that would blow everything down the hole. "You may leave Miss Quinzel."

Harleen stood and walked out of the walked out of the principal's office. She soon met the eyes of Violet Squalor.

"So what did he say?"

Violet Squalor was a tall and very thing girl with soft baby features and a wide forehead with round green eyes.

"Well, you're all free."

They all clapped and headed towards the entrance of the school without a double glance at Harleen and started to make plans to go to the Gotham City Mall and just make mischief. Harleen stood there with an unfathomable stare as she was them leave. Then, after a while of just standing there, looking partially idiotic to others, she decided to leave with a simple nod.

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Harleen Francis Quinzel was born on a cloudy May 25th in the spring of 1990 in the General Hospital of Jersey City, New Jersey. She was conceived by a woman named Judy Waters and a man by the name of Harold Quinzel. They were good people, never to break the rules of society and well, they were really satisfied with their accomplishments. But their biggest one yet was giving birth to a cooing baby girl.

Harleen was raised on a humble farm in the sunny Metropolis by her mother's sister when Judy went back to Gotham City with Harold; to make a better future for their daughter when she was to move back with them.

Ever since she was a baby, they had high hopes for her. Harleen was always observant of everything around her: how they served tea, how her Uncle Tim took care of the farm animals and even up the conversations the adults had. And Harleen would mimic everything her little mind could capture.

Aunt Trudy clapped when Harleen said her first word.

"Rooster."

Funny, because Rooster was the name of the collie they had and astonished that it wasn't 'Auntie' o 'Mommy'. Harleen loved dogs as a toddler and to this day, as well. As she grew up, she became humble, kind and respectful to everyone as Auntie Trudy said to be. Then, Judy came to take Harleen to Gotham City; her future was secure and planned perfectly. Trudy did not like the idea of sending Harleen to that city. But as long as she had a brighter future there, then it was alright with her.

Harleen was excited to meet Gotham City. Ever since she was little, she would anticipate Judy's visits so Judy can tell her all about the city and its tall skyscrapers, events and trains. Harleen loved when Judy mentioned the trains. But now she didn't have to day dream about it; she was here in person.

And above it all, Harleen showed potential at her age.

Top of her class throughout all grades, excellent gymnast; in fact she received many medals at the tournaments Gotham City held. She always respected her mother and father and did her chores. Judy and Harold were proud of her. And Harleen was proud of herself as well and even though she didn't have many friends she was with the ones she had.

Most people would say that Harleen Quinzel was a sweet, kind and shy girl; never gave a lot of trouble. Innocent as her features prove to be. Blonde wavy hair down to her small shoulders and eyes that shone baby blue; an innocent smile that raised her round cheeks even more. And a nose that perked up at the end. Yup, she was you regular girl, happy with her life.

Harleen always has a smile for Gotham City.

For the clean and_ sane_ side of Gotham of course.

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	3. Anomaly of the Day

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Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke

**Anomaly of the Day**

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**Gotham City, 13:05 pm, May 16****th**** 2008, Friday.**

**What is physics?** Well, it's a subject that observes the physical phenomenon and it's a science that is experimented with magnitudes to elaborate calculations.

But for Harleen Quinzel, it's a whole different story. I mean, for her it's like a waste of time to study about? You know how everyone has a different weakness in their studies? Well, Physics is the water to Harleen's electrical plug. They just don't match. And what was coming for her next, made even more apathy grow between them. Her knees kept shaking as she went up to the board. She felt every pupil's eyes on her. She grabbed the Expo blue marker and began to think hard. She closed her eyes shut and let her mind wander to last night.

In where she was sitting in her chair studying her Physics notebook for today's test. No one could figure out the answer; except for Ben Chain, who was the smartest one in Mr. Stanley's class. If no one could figure it out, then they would get an **F **on their exam.

But he gave them another chance. And with all of Harleen's luck, he called on her right after Ben had done his problem (he got it right, duh.)

She re-read the problem on the board:

'_A ball of 24 kg is thrown vertically upward with a velocity of 30m/s. Calculate: The value of the Kinetic Energy, The value of the Kinetic Energy and __Gravitational __Potential Energy at 15 m of height and demonstrate that the mechanic energy is conserved_'

Harleen raised an eyebrow.

Mr. Stanley cleared his throat. "Can you figure it out Harleen?" His beard and mustache twitching; this meant to intimidate Harleen but she was blasé about her surroundings right now. And she gave her full attention to the bitching problem.

_Energy…what is energy? It's a __physical quantity__ that describes the amount of __work__ that can be performed by a __force__. To calculate it….it needs…mass and velocity!_

Harleen smiled and snatched her scientific calculator and punched in her calculations while scribbling them on the board. After recording her confidence she turned to Mr. Stanley, who was leaning on his desk; examining Harleen's work. His eyes narrowed, which made Harleen's hear race faster.

Then his mouth twitched.

Harleen hoped that that was a smile.

"Care to explain it to your classmates Harleen?"

She gulped and nodded quickly. She felt like a deer in headlights.

"So," Harleen cleared her throat. "The problem wants us to find the Kinetic Energy of the ball. As we all know, Kinetic Energy is energy of movement and can be resolved by calculating the half of the mass times the speed squared. Substitution is applied to the formula and the result is 180 and they are measured in Joules, since we are working with SI units. Now we are moving on to the second part of the problem. Gravitational Potential energy is found by the formula of: mass times gravity times height. So you substitute- oh gravity is equal to 9.8m/s. And the result is 58.8. Now for this Kinetic Energy, we need to find the final velocity of the ball. Because it's asking us to resolve it with a different (15 m) height. So VF is equal to the square root of the initial velocity times gravity times height. And our result is 24. 61 m/s. So now we have the result for the velocity in the Kinetic Energy formula. And the energy is equal to 121.1304. Now we can find the magnetic energy by adding the Kinetic Energy to the Gravitational Potential Energy and our result is 180 of magnetic energy."

"You may be seated Harleen." The mouth of Mr. Stanley twitched again and there was a genuine smile underneath all that mustache and goatee. Harleen, with full shock, went back to her seat. That's something you don't see every day. She just explained a physics problem to the class and she doesn't even like the subject, _and_ she got it right.

After a while of asking students and miserably stating that they were ignorant to this theme, Mr. Stanley made an announcement.

"Well, since Harleen and Ben were the only ones who resolved correctly, they are excused while the rest of you are to study for 20 minutes for your test."

This was really bizarre. Something's not right.

Ben stood by Harleen's desk and waited to accompany her to the door.

Ben Chain was a boy with golden brown skin and dark eyes. And his slim figure made his cheeks look sullen but he has a very warm and friendly mouth that made every girl's eyes shine when he smiled.

They walked out of the class and into the deserted hallway; they went to sit in the square that the school had outside with benches where the kids sat to eat. Ben sighed and sat down; he looked up to the May sky above. It seemed fair and the spring breeze was delicious. Harleen sat next to him, fixed her red camisole and crossed her arms.

"Ahem, so Harleen, congrats. I mean, on the problem. I remember you asked for help many times but you did it alone this time…and you got it right." Ben pushed his glasses up and stared incredulity at Harleen.

"Yeah, I crammed the books last night and it worked. I'm just as amazed as you are."

"Yeah, Harleen got an A- in Physics. It's not something you see all the time."

Harleen blinked. She wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an offense, so she kept quiet.

Ben scratched his head and twitched every now and then. He always thought Harleen was cute and wanted to talk to her when there was a chance, and now he was tongue tied and couldn't even ask her to hang with him tonight. '_Come on Ben, you can do it. If you can produce sausages and cheese, you can talk to a girl. A pretty girl. Okay, I'm going to do it._'

He shifted his weight towards Harleen and wiggled his fingers.

"Er, Harleen?"

"What is it?"

"…I was wondering…Since you, uh aced the 'exam', can I take you out to celebrate; eat a cheeseburger? It's on me."

O…kay…This never happened so out of the blue to Harleen. It was unexpected. "Sorry Ben, but I have a tournament tonight."

"Oh, of what?"

"Gymnastics"

"You're a gymnast?"

"Yeah."

The Would explain why Harleen looked so slim, thought Ben. "Where is it located at?"

"At the Sadie Gymnasium by Keller Road; on the outskirts of Gotham."

"I'm guessing that it's a big event."

"Yeah, it's one of the big ones. This year Gotham will be hosting the Regional Tournament. Representatives will be coming in from Metropolis, Central City, Star City and from other states like New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Illinois."

Ben smirked. "And you'll be representing Gotham, right?"

Harleen shrugged and smiled. "You could say that."

He laughed and it richened the air. "I'll try to make time to go see you."

She blushed. "…Okay."

Wow, prove yourself worthy to make an accomplishment and you get the Y chromosomes' attention. That's just plain weird,

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Gotham City, 23:45 pm, May 16

**th**** 2008, Friday.**

James 'Jim' Gordon let out a stubby sigh as he watched the Caped Crusader (stubborn, if he may add) slip into the Prewitt building, where a major hostage situation was in place and Commissioner Gordon has to save them, no matter what…especially Harvey Dent. He failed to saved the lovely and intrepidly Rachel Dawes. He cannot fail once again. Harvey needs to be _saved_ before it's too late.

The Joker cannot win _this_ battle; the war is not over. He won't give up. Turning his bright blue eyes towards the Prewitt building with his binoculars, Jim noticed a SWAT truck parked there with a few members surrounding it with weapons seemingly loaded. That's strange; he didn't remember commanding that request.

"Who stationed that truck down there?" He barked, looking at his colleagues, who all turned to look at the commissioner. None of them spoke for a while, until a brave one on the far end responded. "SWAT leader sir. That's where they'll be taking the Joker to Arkham once he's captured."

Gordon examined this man; he had a cold stare and gruff voice and seemed indifferent about this mission. He gave a stern nod and turned his gaze back to the building as the SWAT team breached in. Still, something was still itching Gordon's back. Either that or he was just being paranoid.

He hoped it was the second one.


	4. LoopdeLoop

**a/n: hey the lyrics the joker sings are from "Come Together" by The Beatles. so please don't sue me :o**

**okay, onwards to the story**

**don't own it **

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Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke

**Loop-de-Loop**

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Earlier that day:

**Gotham City, 21:50 pm, May 16th ****2008, Friday**

The girl was graceful.

Her legs never out of bounds and they almost never wobbled and she held an enigmatic gaze which locked every judge's attention. Her tumbling was full and sassy, but not beautiful. Though, her arms moved gracefully as she performed an acrobatic movement. And she was in a proper form.

Worried Baby blues, who sat on a far plastic chair with headphones in her ears, followed the girl all across the square as she made her floor routine.

Darcy Anderson was part of her competition. The little redhead from Star City was a five time gold medal winner on the floor of Gymnastics. Leaving Harleen Quinzel from Gotham City in third and fourth place and April Cox from Central City in second place in the floor routines.

How can Harleen compete with this? She'd gone first on the floor routines so Darcy had an advantage there; seeing every error Harleen could have made and remembering what not to do. Then a strong firm hand placed itself on Harleen's shoulder. "You will do fine. You may not be a sassy and proper as her but it's what your passion that make you float like a dove on the floor and rich and charming attitude will help with your routine."

Hmmm…maybe her coach was right. Harleen examined Darcy's footing more closely. She was a bit fidget and she was too rough on the edges than she usually was. Hell, all the Gymnasts were a bit shaken tonight, except for the Gothamites. But of course they were used to the dangerous and demented doing of their demonic clown prince of crime.

Not every city has one, right? But still, Harleen wasn't surprised to see that the only audience was the families that came to see their kids perform. Of course they were scared of the Joker. Who, right now was 'taking over' Gotham and making it his city now. Harleen had never had an encounter with him as of yet but she's seen the videos he's produced and directed himself. Not to mention the killings and explosions he's made. But somehow Harleen found mildly interesting in a way. How can one person make so much macabre and chaos to a city so fast? But not to mention that the city was already dying, of course. Gotham can only hope that they can catch him soon enough. Before he drags everyone down to hell with him.

An 'oohing' noise and gasping sounds made Harleen snap her attention towards the blue square where young April Cox was on the ground with pain etched on her baby face. She seemed to have twisted her ankle while she tried to land a triple handspring. The first aid kit members came to examine her ankle and carried her away. Harleen turned to the big screen posted where the scoreboard of the basketball court was supposed to be. And as Darcy Anderson's score shone onto the screen Harleen's eyes widened and her coach clapped and hugged her. His eyes shone so much that it seemed to make her glow brightly.

13.87 was Darcy's score.

Harleen had beaten her by ten decimals. She gave a radiant smile as it dawned on her that she had won the gold medal for the floor routine. She turned to her ecstatic coach. "What helped me win?!"

"The attitude of yours was much more potent than Darcy's; it showed that you had an immense determination to nail it; the judges love that, I should know. And of course your tumbling was prim and beautiful."

Harleen's teammate, Penelope Curtis came dashing towards her. "Oh Harleen, thank God! You finally beat Darcy!" Penelope Curtis was a mousy brunette with pale green and light caramel skin. She was older than Harleen but was in the same division as her. "My score got me second place on the uneven bars and on the balance beam…well let's just say I almost got fifth."

"What happened?"

"My routine only lasted 58 seconds and I began to wobble as I did more complicated somersaults. _And_ my foot twitched harshly as I landed."

Harleen frowned. "Sorry Poppy, and how did you do on the Vault?"

"Second place for now; Faye de Bravo from Harrisburg is in the lead."

"Are we getting good or what?"

Penelope's frown turned into a smile. "Yeah, of course we are! What's next for you? You've done the balance beam and the bars huh?"

Harleen nodded. "Third on the bars and first on the balance beam."

"All that is left is the vault."

Harleen sighed. "Yeah."

Penelope patted her back. "You can do it Harleen; you're the best one out there. The Jersey kids don't stand a chance. Star City doesn't have an opportunity at a medal anymore. Stacy Marcus fell on her face after she landed."

"Ouch."

Harleen watched how Darcy exited the vault and she gulped. "I'm up next." She took off her jacket and headphones and turned towards her family. All of them were cheering and smiling at her; holding up cute homemade banners of encouragement. The Quinzels and the Waters gave Harleen their full support. This made her heart race faster. She stood in place as the marker shone her full name on the sign and the light was red, meaning for her to hold position. She flexed her strong and toned muscles; she was going to do a front handspring. She raised her arms to the air to greet her audience and judges with broad smile. She need full concentration and major thrust to nail this and bring home the gold.

The light turned green.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

_Come on, you can do it._

She reopened them and positioned herself into a sophistic stance and sprinted down the runway. She could feel her heart pounding hard against her chest and her rapid breathing. Everything meant nothing to Harleen right now. Just what is in front of her is her life right now. She gave a hard strong push as she jumped off the beat board and grabbed a good amount of air. She swirled beatifically in the air and landed gracefully on the vault. 'C_ome on Harleen, harder! Thrust, thrust!' _She groaned inwards as she gave it all her might to produce an even stronger push off the vault so she can land far away from the vault. She grunted fiercely and made somersaults with pointed toes and very, but very sassy attitude. _'Okay, stick the landing, come on! Harder, harder!_ She could feel the boiling blood in her head and the pushy adrenaline quivering all over her body; she saw the swirling of the gymnasium colors all around her. Until she saw her clear polished pedicure feet on the foamy blue mat and heard the loud applause, did she see that she had accomplished her goal.

She had brought Gotham the gold medal.

She nodded and gave the brightest grin yet and gave a farewell wave to her judges. She trotted down the stairs and into the arms of her coach.

Her coach rubbed her back and whispered. "I'm very proud of you Harleen."

Then he gave her a kiss on her forehead.

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Gotham City, 23:59 pm, May 16th

**2008, Friday**

Christophe Svidersky swore under his breath as he got into the driver's seat of the SWAT truck. He took off his goggle and helmet and rubbed his forehead; trying to make the pain go away. Those were a bitch when they were on your head and face. And he didn't want to be here at all in the first place. He didn't want to risk his ass by 'helping' the deranged piece of shit to, once more, cause 'happiness' and 'miracles' in Gotham City. Why the fuck was he even here-oh right, that's why.

He needed the money for his son's operation. It just felt like yesterday when the doctor told him and his wife that their child had grown an ulcer on his left foot due to the diabetes. Little Vassili needed to help, oh and Yana was once again pregnant; twin baby girls: Jenna and Lyudmila. His family had come from Russia for the hopes of having more luck and happiness, and at least get a house they could call theirs. Everything was going well until Christophe lost his job, Yana got into an accident at work and when little Vassili was diagnosed with diabetes.

He needed the money to set things right again.

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Gotham City, 00:05 am, May 17th

** 2008, Saturday**

Christophe twitched as he heard the maniacal gruff giggling of the Joker as the soldiers pushed him into the cargo holder and shut the door once they got in. One of them banged their black gloved fist on the metal wall of the truck; meaning that it was time to go. As the truck's engine roared to life, the Joker's laughter rose even higher.

And he began to sing.

'_Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly  
He got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller  
He got hair down to his knee  
__**Got to be a joker he just do what he please**__'_

Then he cackled. "I just _loooooveeeuh_ playing this gam-euh!"

The high pitched nasal of his voice sent Christophe shivers down his spine; and they weren't exactly the good kind.

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Gotham City, 00:15 am, May 17t

**h**** 2008, Saturday**

"Harleen, good stuff in there."

This voice made Harleen jump and throw the bouquet that Ben had given her into the backseat of the Honda Odyssey the Quinzels had. She turned with eyes wide open but then blushed in astonishment as she focused on who spoke to her. It was Jake Dalle.

"…J-Jake, uh, thanks. What are you doing here?" She smiled confused at him and shut the sliding door of the van.

He chuckled at her reaction. "My sister, Roxanne, is about to compete. She's a gymnast as well. I didn't that you were one also," he said giving her a sensual crooked smile while leaning on the concrete wall.

Harleen rapidly blinked and stammered until she regained herself. "…Well I didn't know Roxanne Greene was your sister, especially by the last name."

Jake laughed and ruffled his hair. It made Harleen bit her lip every time. "She's married…hey it sucks that they had to move the tournament really late at night huh?"

Harleen nodded, "Yes, I'm actually pretty tired right now."

Jake smiled. "Yeah I understand. They moved the time because of the Joker's last video threat. But the good thing is that we are far from the city. Be careful and survive this weekend so I can see you on Monday alright?"

She nodded stupidly. "O…kay…"

Jake grinned and shook his head. "Bye Cutie." He smirked and slid through the entrance door of the gymnasium.

"Bye…" said Harleen a second too late. She giggled and hugged herself. Then a let out a stubby squeak and grinned. Jake Dalle just called her cute. This day couldn't get any better. But boy was she in for the night. The Quinzels and the Waters wanted to celebrate Harleen's famous grace dances by throwing a mini party. Even though it was past midnight, they went to celebrate.

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Gotham City, 02:30 am, May 17

**th**** 2008, Saturday**

The phone began to ring at the hushed and murky Major Crimes Unit. Four detectives and one commissioner jumped and became apprehensive as the phone wailed again. It was very late and instead of being in bed and spooning with his wife Barbara, Jim Gordon was in his office with Detectives Montoya, Bullock, Watson and Bones waiting the nerve wracking phone call from the unit over at Arkham Asylum. The call was to confirm that the Joker had arrived without any complications.

That's what had been bothering Gordon ever since they loaded Joker into the truck. Hopefully, this time, he won this battle. His hand quivered as he picked the phone up and put it to his ear. He swallowed a thick layer of saliva and cleared his throat.

The Detectives were leaning in with a weary look on their tired red eyes.

"…Did he arrive there?" Gordon asked solemnly as his heart beating started to hurt and the minutes seemed to droop down very leisurely.

The officer on the other line stood silent for a moment.

Gordon couldn't take the suspense anymore, it felt like if it was pressuring him down and crushing him in the office and made his breathing harder.

"…Negative sir. The Joker never made it to Arkham."


	5. Trick up My Sleeve

**Joker action in this one! :) well in his mind**

**don't own it**

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Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke

**Trick up My Sleeve**

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**Little Barbara 'Babs' Gordon sat on her chair where the moonlight was reflecting her porcelain and neat tea set her parents had given her on Christmas.** Her small little hand clutched the blanket that smelled like eating a juicy watermelon on a fresh spring day. She stared at the entrance door of her house, waiting for her daddy to come home. Little did she know, was that her mother was sitting in the shadows on the couch across from her in silence. Babs was still shaken after what happened to her family just a couple of hours. Heck not even two hours had passed when the man with the burnt face had held them at gunpoint. When she thought she had lost her older brother James and when she saw her mommy cry, Babs wondered why this madman was hurting his family? What did they do to him? Then, she had seen her daddy. Oh how her breath was taken away from her when that evil man hit him. She had never been so scared and hurt in her life before.

"Here again Babs?" Mrs. Gordon asked quietly.

Babs gasped and jumped with horror as she noticed her mother's silhouette for the first time.

"…I'm waiting for Daddy."

Her small voice quivered as she stood from her chair. As if she was afraid of what was coming next for her. She went to her mother as Mrs. Gordon flickered on the lamp. She and Babs looked so much alike: strawberry blonde hair, almond shaped electric blue eyes and soft pink lips; their features were soft and they had high cheekbones. They were two beautiful females as well on the inside and outside. Heck, they even shared the name Barbara.

"Come here baby." Barbara held out her arms for her daughter, inviting her into the warmth of her motherly embrace. Babs eagerly jumped onto her lap. "Daddy knows that you'll always be waiting be for him no matter what." She kissed her daughter. "It's late Babs. Let's tuck you in…again."

Babs giggled as her mother carried her back to bed.

* * *

The night was quiet and there was a small breeze out there and it was making the trees outside of Harleen's window dance eerily. Her eyes followed the movement of the branches and her body relaxed. She was really tired after her performances and needed her 'beauty' sleep. As soon as her eyes began to droop, Enid began to speak next to her.

"You'll totally be the star of tomorrow's section of sports." said Enid Quinzel to her cousin.

Both of them were in bed after the little bash they had thrown Harleen and both very full from all that cake that they eat. They were all showered; teeth were brushed and were both changed into their cuddly pajamas.

"Really?"

"Hah, yes. You won a medal in every station. Gotham should be proud of you babe."

Harleen smiled sleepily, barely awake right now. "…Thanks."

Enid gave out a little gasp. "Oh did you hear?"

Harleen sighed and rubbed her eyes. "About what?" She just wanted to go to sleep. Why didn't Enid tell her about this when she was fully awake?

"They finally caught the Joker."

Harleen's mouth turned into a comical little 'o' and her eyes opened wide. "Oh yeah, how did you find out this late at night?"

"You remember Shayna? She called me about an hour ago. Well her dad's in the force; he told her all about it. She said the Joker kept laughing as they took him. He's so crazy but I'm glad that locked up in Arkham right now and for good."

Harleen mused on that for a while. The Joker wasn't just a psychotic madman; he was a _very clever_ psychotic madman. He actually had very good ideas in that brain of his. "Hopefully. But who's to say he won't escape? He got away from the Commissioner once, he can get away again."

"I doubt it."

Harleen relaxed once again as the silence took over and she began to fall asleep. "Night Enid."

"G'night Harleen."

* * *

The morning sun gave the old abandoned toy factory a sinister look as the light shone off the wide smile of the clown in the box positioned as the factory's symbol. But in the inside of the factory, it was not as jolly and sinister as on the outside. In fact, it was dark, damp and cold inside. And there were cigarette butts from hookers of last week and beer bottles scattered everywhere. Plus, there was human life inside. Some of them were lounging brainlessly on the cat pissed couch watching the early shows while others were in the john (which was quite…Er, unsanitary) and eating scraps of food that could be found by hunting for endless hours. They were all men; stinky and ghastly henchmen who were working for a cynical prince.

This prince was not found on the same floor as his henchmen. How could anyone even process that thought?! No, this prince was found on the second floor behind a brown closed door. And none of his henchmen wanted to know what he was up to. Unless they wanted to their death wish, then it was all in good health.

The blade glistened in the small peek of the dawn light. And it made a low whistling sound as it twirled in the prince's gloved hand. The sound of the whistle relaxed him in so many ways. The sound produce him so many pleasures; it gave him screams, whimpering, blood and tears. Oh and of course a smile on his face and on others forever. These things were part of his new job; he'd never had enjoyed a job so much like this one. In which there was no book instructions on how to do the steps correctly, no one had a superior leverage over him; the payment was grandiose and the best part of it all: there was no rules.

This prince didn't like rules. Why would you be working with rules when all they do is drive you crazy? No…See, the thing about rules is that they keep you bottled up to not speak your mine or do what you think is right. Why did people live in a world like that? The prince knew why. It's because they're weak. Slaves of the establishment of their lives: the government. You go up to their slimy faces, clear your throat to speak and BANG! You're saying hello to a six foot hole with your name on it. And because of that trepidation, people go mad. That's why this prince does not live in trepidation; he just_ loves_ to speak what is on his mind; he could hardly give a shit if they do something to him or not. And he wants the people of Gotham City to not live a boring routine every single day of their lives. He wants to help them by doing the only thing that is appropriate in a situation like this.

Chaos.

With this magnificent noun, he could show the Gothamites the real face of the political society and lead them into a path of a new world. A sensible world where there was no rules, plans and pedantic order. Take them away from insanity. But the problem here was that they weren't happily participating in his friendly gesture. So he created a suitable example of his experiment. But his example of the lovely noun had gone 'cliff' diving and didn't survive. He needed to show Gotham that it's possible to save them from this predicament they were in. But with what?

The blade kept dancing in his hand. His eyes closed in pleasure as the whizzing of the blade became louder and louder and louder, until he had to let out an aroused giggle due to his excitement. But then a stupid insignificant knock on the door made the ecstasy go away. He growled and hunched dangerously over to the rotting door.

"What?" He snarled as he was one of his henchmen clutching the morning paper in his shaking hand.

The henchman gulped and tried to show no fear as he saw the wicked blood red Glasgow smile and the cruel crack of the black eye makeup on his boss, but failed terribly.

"I brought ya tha paipuh boss."

The Joker snatched it from his hands and slammed the door on his face...Speaking of which, did you see the look on his stupid face?! Ha-ha! He looked like he was about to shit in his pants! The Joker cackled as he crossed his gloomy and murky room to sit on his batted and creaking bed.

"Let's see if the Gotham Times have anything for me to play with next."

He moisturized his lips and massaged his scar tissues with his tongue every now and then as he flipped through the pages of the newspaper. His dark brown eyes glaring at the sections he passed. Hmm…There was nothing on culture, weather, cooking, city, state, political parties, and politics (just getting a new D.A ha-ha!) But he didn't want to do that joke with the D.A again. It isn't as funny the second time. Hmmm, maybe he shouldn't go so big this time; start with something small…a regular person; show them that he can be diverse; to go outside of the politic box. Anyways, going to back to the sections, his eyes stopped on the sports category.

His blade started dancing again. His mouth turned into a pouting frown as he saw the picture of a blonde pigtailed young girl with big innocent blue eyes and a friendly smile. He glanced at the title above her picture.

'**Gotham's Genius Gymnast.'**

"Hmmm," said the Joker in a high pitched childlike voice. This might be interesting. He began to read the article.

Harleen Quinzel…Blah, blah, blah…A top student at Gotham High…Blah, blah, blah…Excellent and respecting daughter…Blah, blah, blah…Seven time gold medal winner on the balance beam…Blah, blah, blah…She out did it by winning a medal in every woman's events this time…Blah, blah, blah…She's Gotham's Prodigy…Blah, blah, blah…

The blade twirled even faster. His frown turned into a wicked grin. "This girl seems to go by every rule in the book of society…Ha-ha-ha-ha! That's just perfect!"

The Joker whooped and harshly set the paper down to the floor. His mind began to race of all the things he can do this girl…What she'll do for him and what she'll become. It was like destined for her to meet the clown prince…Harleen Quinzel. The Joker mused on her name. It sounded like the French clown character Harlequin. He slump his shoulders and those brown eyes of his became greedy. Harlequin, she could become _his_ harlequin; _his_ and _his _only. He licked his lips as he looked into the eyes of Harleen Quinzel and gave a very loud disturbing cackle and added a sensual growl to the twist. He threw the blade straight to Harleen's face.

He had found his new and shiny example. She was to become the prey to satisfy the hunger of chaos.


	6. Morning Musings

**I dunno about this chapters, i guess it's just a filler =/**

**don't own it.**

* * *

**Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke**

**Morning Musings**

* * *

**T****he Gotham Times were the most relevant and convicted paper in Gotham City, New Jersey; better than the Daily Coffee, Waking Gotham **_**and much better**_** than Sunrise.** The Gotham Times had information that captured your attention. They could either make you shine like a ray of sunlight or drag you down to the pestilence of ghetto dumpsters in downtown. Plus they were always sent on time at your doorsteps, very early in the morning, by a white truck with an exhausted looking young man with his uniform pressed and coffee at hand while listening to soft ballads and reggae music from the local stations of the city.

As Ian threw the paper towards the doorsteps of a suburbia house, a head full of messy dirty blonde hair, popped out of the door. But what filled Ian with pry was how the head popped out with a resemblance of a game of whack-a-mole. Then a long hand snatched the Gotham Times like if it was a ten thousand check about to rob by hobos. Then she shut the door, but before that, she gave a suspicious and death glance all around her. Ian blinked at what just happened in front of him. And then with a wrinkled nose and nonplussed eyes he turned to his cup of coffee.

Damn coffee; making him imagine things.

Enid Quinzel took a bite of her blueberry waffle as she snapped her eyes through every paragraph. She looked determined to find something that seemed important. She went towards the kitchen, where the New Jersey family and the family from Delaware were sitting down for breakfast.

Enid took her eyes off the paper for a brief moment to take the computer seat and squeezed between Marley Quinzel and Catherine Waters. "Scoot Kiddies," she let out a gruff behind the paper and down. Making Marley and Catherine protest from being shoved out of their place. But as the old saying goes: Karma will always come and bite right in the ass…

Enid had sipped on her glass of milk too fast and began to choke. She drank it too fast, not because she's too much of a simpleton to watch how she drinks her liquids, but because just as she was going to set down the paper, there was something that caught her eyes. She squeaked out of delight. And every Quinzel and Waters looked at the giddy teenager.

"Look, Harleen's in here!"

They scurried to her side; squishing little Marley in the process.

"I had a feeling my baby was going to be in the paper!"

"Ya Aunt Judy. I told her last night that she was going to be in today's paper."

"They even got a little bio on her! Now that's something!"

"It sure is!"

"Mwer ishf Farlinee?

"What was that Marley?"

Enid rolled her eyes and pulled Marley out of the smothering place she was in. Marley gasped for breath and coughed.

"Where is Harleen?"

"Probably still asleep-Ted, you leave her alone!"

"Whaaaat?"

Actually Harleen wasn't asleep. She was lying down on her bed, looking up at her ceiling. And was thinking about today. How much of a bore it was going to be if they kept talking about the paper. Though she did like the attention, don't her wrong. But she needs her own personal quiet space. So she was taking advantage of this moment.

Quietness was something contented for Harleen. It gave her time to think about what she wanted to do in life. It's not like she wants to be a Gymnast for the rest of her life. She wanted to be helpful; like a veterinarian, a doctor, or a psychiatrist. She rolled on to her side and peered into the open closet and saw a stethoscope peeping back at Harleen. She smiled as she remembered when she played doctor with cousins Enid and Anthony. But then all that of changed as they got older. Enid Quinzel went back to back to Metropolis, Delaware and Anthony Waters went to Central City, Ohio to become an aspiring actor while Harleen Quinzel stayed in Gotham City to become a Gymnast.

Then that memory led Harleen to gaze at all her trophies and medals she had received for began a talented Gymnast. Then her eyes went wandering to her school achievements and family pictures decorated on the wall.

To all the people that knew Harleen, would call and know her as a little Strawberry Girl.

Harleen never was a wild child; she was always was in the strawberry fields, just sitting on the forest grass laughing and deciphering the shapes of clouds, either cirrus or thunderhead; any type of clouds. While others at her age were out at nightclubs with fake I.D's, having sexual relationships with the opposite gender and/or with the same and getting injected with ecstasy, heroine; the works. But she'd rather be 'a nobody' if she were to do those things to be 'a somebody'.

Harleen sighed and decided it was time to get up. She threw the covers away from herself and slipped out of bed. She stood in front of her white metal mirror and looked at her morning self. She inhaled and exhaled; gave her body a nice long stretch. Her feet were tiptoed as her hands reached upwards. It was time for her routine.

Harleen began with squats. She tightened her abdomen, buttocks as she thrust her hips upwards. She felt the pressure on her quads and hamstrings. After a good round of these, she began to do butterflies; tightening her chest as she leaned on her left leg for support. And then she began to move her right leg inwards and outward. She exhaled as the burning commenced. After warming up she began her leg stretches. Her flexibility was smooth as she did the American splits. Harleen let her eyes close in deep concentration and leaned her head towards her left thigh.

And thought about her morning musings.

Maybe it was time to look and settle for a profession. She is a senior and was graduating this year. By now she should know what she wants. But she was too caught up on her other love that's been with her for seven years. But she needed to find an alternative love for now. But why was choosing and doing, harder than saying what you want to do in your life?

After she stretched, did calisthenics and worked in her muscles by standing upside down and keeping her balance in her arms with the beads of sweat dripping up her face and towards her hair, she took a long nice shower. And by then, everyone knew that she was wide awake and ready.

They weren't discreet as she spotted them sitting awkwardly on the sofa with the Gotham Times in their hands. Great, she had to say something, now.

Before they could even congratulate her, she raised a breath.

"I want to become a doctor."

* * *

**yeaaaa =)**


	7. Just Give it Up

**=)**

**don't own it**

**:D**

* * *

**Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke**

**Just Give it up**

* * *

**Harold Quinzel could hardly believe what he just heard.**

His only child was turning his back on him. After he's done for her this is how she repays him? He blinked harshly and took in the almost eighteen year old in front of him. She seemed so happy and looked determined to for her newest goal in life; in her future.

The future.

This is why Harold and Judy left for Gotham City and left their daughter back in Metropolis. They were constructing her future here.

Harold Quinzel never had the rightful son he deserved, according to him. He said that it was mandatory that every father deserved to have a son to show him the ways of the man. And it's been said for generation in the Quinzel family. So of course when saw that his first baby was a girl, he was a bit a disappointed in himself.

So he tried again, after little Harleen was and was taken to Judy's hometown back in Delaware. But one crucial and critical drive back home from work had sent Judy right into the E.R.; she had major damage in her uterus and became, in a way, infertile. So Harold did his best to enlighten himself with the fact that he will only have one and final daughter.

He made her do all activities there was out there, including boy activities as well. She was brought back to him at the age of seven. He tried baseball, basketball and soccer. But Harleen wasn't that much interested in those sports. Then in their small backyard, Judy and Harleen were playing. And Harold snooped around. He saw her do a cartwheel; sloppy but efficient and his last hope rose from its grave.

Harleen should be in gymnastics! I mean, it's also a unisex sport, just like any other these days. So since she was eight she began gymnastics and that made Harold's pride and happiness grow. Harleen was an excellent athlete and showed Olympic potential. Harold wanted her future to be involved with that sport. Everything was going fine.

But that all went down the drain as Harleen revealed to the whole family that her newest ambition was to be a medic. Right there is where he figured out that all his hard work was worth nothing. So he had no idea how to react to this information.

Harleen turned towards him, giving him a grin. The only thing that he forced himself to do was to give his daughter a crooked smile and he excused himself. He needed time to think this over again.

He clutched the bars of the small balcony of the upstairs room, which was the only room on the second floor. Was he just being selfish and pushed his daughter for his own indulgence? But he deserved it, didn't he?

His nostrils flared…

Damn right he deserved a chance.

She was his only and last child. He can do anything her wanted and was going to make sure that the future that he built for her was going to become true.

"Harold?"

Called out the voice of his savior.

He turned to see the love of his life, Judy. She had kind expressions and her laugh lines were really punctuated. Her bright blue eyes searched for an explanation of why he just left the living room so rapid. Though she had quite an idea of why he did. She knew that he was disappointed and was trying to believe it happening. After all, he'll never have a little boy wandering around the house; helping him with the cars, fixing with tools, playing wrestling, getting dirty with the backyard mud. And if she could even think of being cliché for a moment, go fishing with him and an uncle on Saturday mornings.

Judy kissed her husband and caressed his back she left him alone once again.

The good thing was that it was all over. His family was back in their abode, safe and sound with him snuggling and caressing his sleeping wife. He could not sleep. How could he after what happened?

The Joker almost won. He did send Harvey Dent into madness and Jim was too late. He had disappointed himself. He couldn't save him, but like mentioned before, the Joker _almost _won. Gordon knew what the Joker wanted to do; show Gotham that there was no hope for a new light in their city. And he was using Harvey Dent for that. But he failed and that was the only good thing out of this. The other thing on Gordon's mind was that Batman was being blamed for all of this. The murders, mind you. Because he said that he'll be what Gotham needs him to be. And Gordon knows that Batman can take it. He really did care about Gotham, not like some.

Barbara stirred in her sleep and fell deeper into the pillows. Gordon placed his hand on his wife's hips and closed his eyes.

He felt his eyes irritated but he was not sleepy. It was almost dawn, he'd only gotten about three hours of sleep. And now he had to confront the never ending case of the Joker. Sure, he was glad that there was no activity was of yet, but he needed to be precautious for the next attack. He closed his eyes once again in vain for hopes of snoozing for a bit more. Just try and forget about this all and be with his family a little more.

That's what he'll do. Spend this day with his family. He smiled faintly and finally fell asleep.

* * *

_it's really short yeah, i know but these are just fillers D:_


	8. Always a Catch

a/n: im too lazy to put this in bold so gotta warn ya, there will be some blood in this one :o

okay =)

don't own it

* * *

**Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke**

**Always a Catch**

* * *

**The stainless metal glass tray with the exquisite Southwestern Corn Frittata was wafting its smell traveled into the highly lit room, which instead of walls had clear glass windows.**

Of course, it gave a sight of the skyscrapers all around Gotham City and a blinding amount of yellow lights in the night. This could be a nuisance to some, not having any real privacy at night but for others looked at it as an exhilarating moment. A time to gaze, a time to relax and a time to think.

You can think in silence as the sun reflected in the windows of the dark skyscrapers in the afternoon. Or think of it as your little haven as the lights winked at you, one by one.

Either way, it was pleasant.

Yeah it's like that for people. Some go for the nuisance and others for the exhilaration. But for Billionaire Bruce Wayne it was quite…I really don't have a good word for this but I'll go with bipolar.

I picked the word bipolar because he'll sometimes go for the nuisance and sometimes go with the exhilaration or both. Either way, it gets complicated which one he picks. But I can tell you what he went for today.

He went for nuisance.

It's been a while since he chose this one ever since that night with his last battle with the Joker and the death of Harvey Dent. But he stopped what the Joker really wanted to prove, he cannot win. He will _never_ win. But what was strange, was that how logical the Joker was. He was not a dumb clown at all; he just wanted to bring out the bad of all people. People may call that side the true side of themselves. The Joker was one of them. But Bruce can't let that happen.

He will be there for Gotham when they need him, for good things or bad things. Either way he will be looking out for them. And right Gotham needed him to be not a hero, but illicit. So the hope will not die, and the good people of Gotham can keep going forward.

And maybe grow to better things.

He closed his eyes. The reflection of the sun gave him a sneer and laughed in his face. As if as though they were sadistic little rays and they were letting it all out on Bruce. He pressed his hand to his forehead and tried to push this feeling away.

God he hated his windows today. He'll have to get curtains for this.

Oh right, the Frittata right? Well maybe this piece of food made by his trustworthy and kind butler can cheer him up. If it was even possible he can only hope. But then again he can just pretend it did cheer him up.

"I took in the liberty to prepare you a little breakfast."

Alfred set the tray in front of Bruce and stood close by. He gazed at his master and how his face was scrunched in annoyance. He looked at the bright windows. "I'll set up windows first thing tomorrow and I also thought of an idea of how to bring up the hope in Gotham more vivid Master Wayne."

Bruce smiled weakly and reopened his eyes. "Oh and how's that Alfred?" He looked up to his butler.

Alfred leaned a bit and took out the newspaper. "Why not make a turn in the party life of Bruce Wayne? Instead of making political parties and celebrations for pure indulgence, Bruce Wayne should make a Fundraiser for the orphans of Gotham."

Bruce blinked and stopped eating the Frittata. The delicious taste had almost faded. People wouldn't care about those young people. They can only care about themselves. But Alfred made point. Bruce can still turn this around. By making this action, maybe he can prove that Harvey Dent's idea and vision of a better Gotham still can live.

But something told him it wasn't that easy. He frowned.

Alfred had a sad smile and that told Bruce everything.

"What's the catch Alfred?"

"Well sir, by trying to make this come to life, I have a preposition."

"Well let's hear it."

"Why don't you invite some little prominent people? Oh let's say…Gymnasts? They are being known in Gotham now more than ever as you saw on today's morning paper. I'm sure people will be curious to know these young and fresh athletes."

Bruce sighed and took a sip of the freshly squeezed orange juice. "…Well so be it. If it will help the people of Gotham to help those in need, I'll make this come to life."

"Would you like to me to prepare the invitations?"

"Of course."

* * *

That afternoon Harleen had received many phone calls from the students of Gotham High, some she didn't even know that they were in the school. She was confused for a moment as a new phone call came in but it wasn't a teenager. It was more a woman with an important tone in her voice. She had asked for Harleen Quinzel politely.

Harleen blinked.

"Yes this is she."

"Well good afternoon Miss Quinzel. I'm calling on behalf of Mr. Bruce Wayne who has cordially invited to you to his "Give a cent, make a difference" fundraiser for the good orphans of Gotham. And will hope you will accept his invitation. If you are interested, it will start at 8:00 p.m. and the dress wear is formal and the location is in his penthouse. Thank you for your time and Mr. Wayne sends his appreciation to you. Goodbye Miss Quinzel."

Well Gee.

Harleen was just invited to a party. And not just some ordinary party; it was a Bruce Wayne party. Hah, just wait until her family hears about this. But the funniest thing was that after two hours, everyone getting ready, and an article publishing Wayne's Fundraiser and the oh-so most important and interesting invites, even more phone calls were being made to Harleen's house and many visitors as well.

The door knocked twice and Enid, half dressed and with white foundation in hand, opened the door. She snorted as she saw who it was and shut the door in their face while going up to Harleen in fits of laughter.

"Ha-ha, there's someone, ha-ha at the door for ya Harleen ha-ha! God I can't believe it! What losers, ha-ha!" She went back into the bathroom. I guess she wasn't embarrassed by her appearance and how much of a crazy person she might've looked to the mystery visitors.

Harleen was still in the blue sweatshirt and her red slim shorts and had her pigtails on. She reopened the door and saw the teenage popular group of her school: Violet Squalor, Kim Elliot, Luke Stark, Sandra Thompson, Lily Black, Gale Instrid and Jake Dalle. Oh…She blushed as she noticed that they were all in presentable clothes and well groomed. Not to mention as well the perfect make up on the girls.

Violet squealed and was the first one to make a move. "Oh my God Harleen!! I'm so psyched to hear that you won a medal!" And Kim violently hugged her

"Yeah, it was like amazing."

"Totally."

Luke smiled tightly at Harleen. He didn't even know her and he was here? "Yeah….err, Quinzel. Good stuff."

Harleen gave out a little smile. "Thanks. Gymnastics is my thing."

"Ooohhhh, that's was it was? Well whatever ya still famous girl!" Sandra giggled along with Lily.

Jake rolled his eyes and scoffed. "So Harleen, you been taking care of yourself just like I asked?"

Harleen's heart raced faster. "Yeah, I guess you can say that Jake. Well I'm about to get ready to go this fundraiser made by Bruce Way-"

Harleen didn't even have time to finish because all the girls squealed at the mention of Bruce Wayne's name.

"Oh he's soooo cute!"

"Yeah and like super rich as well!"

"Wow! Oh my God Harleen! So we'll like see you there right?" Violet gazed into Harleen's eyes intensely and it made Harleen stumble into a stupid phase.

"Oh I-I, er I don't know, I um-"

Violet leaned in. "Coolness, so we'll see you there. Buh-bye Harleen." Violet whipped her hair and it almost slapped Harleen in the face. The girls giggled snidely and the boys just followed them without staring back at Harleen. But Jake did.

And he smiled and winked her. Then he turned away. Though something in his eyes had said something different. But Harleen didn't notice this because she was too busy being squeamish about the sexy smile he just gave her.

She hummed and floated into her room. She felt ready to go this fundraiser. She smiled through all her preparation and hummed a friendly tune as she dance to the radio. It was blasting out The Fear the latest single of the British singer _Lily Allen_.

She jumped and giggled and sang along. She twirled and did handsprings. Her heart still kept beating hard and rough.

Enid came into the room and tried to ignore the fact that Harleen was just ecstatic. Too bad it was all wasted on some unimportant little slobs and leeches. She raised an eyebrow as she heard from Harleen that those leeches were going as well.

"Oh really, they are?"

Harleen happily nodded. "Yeah they are! It's going to be so much fun!"

Enid frowned and scoffed disgustingly. She turned back to her reflection and continued to apply her foundation. "I'm sure it will be _fun._" There will always be a catch.

* * *

He was becoming bored and restless. He didn't like feeling those things. There were just so irrational. They made him feel anger and displeasure. He growled and kicked his door opened, making it swing violently back and forth.

The Joker gripped the shotgun at hand and slammed it onto his shoulders, making a powerful pang and the pain vibrated all over his body. Pain was another thing he absolutely loved, it made him feel good and it relaxed him. Plus, the medicine to his pain was laughter. So he gave out a long hard cackle as he proceeded down the stairs.

His eyes twitched as he was his henchmen all around but they tensed as they saw him. He gave out a giggle as he saw the fear etched on their disgusting ugly faces. Most of them were eyeing the shotgun on his hunched shoulders.

The Joker had a sort of hunched fast penguin walk that could make anyone laugh at him, his henchmen knew so but didn't dare to do that after one man did and the Joker didn't like it when people laugh and he doesn't get the joke. They've never heard someone die in so much agony while being carved roughly on their face. But the creepy part about it was that, the man kept crying and laughing all at the same time. But of course, the Joker was not excluded. He had finally gotten the joke, after the man explained it. But it wasn't a good joke, if you had to explain it.

No one in this warehouse was a comedian except for the Clown Prince himself.

The Joker hummed idly to himself while skipping around his tensed henchmen. He made a stop and he noticed something, he glared and snapped his vicious eyes towards the goons. He smacked his lips loudly and moisturized them. He pointed the shotgun to them. "Well good after-n_oo_n lai-dies and germs. It seems that I've got a little _toy_ to pick in a while. So, I'm gonna need you all to, uh, make yourselves useful and clean this shitty place, hmm? Cuz some of ya weren't so spec-_ta_-cuee-_lar_ on our last play-timmeeuhh." He growled in a high pitched song like voice. He observed these dirty men and noticed that he was one man short. He frowned and bit his scar cheeks rather harshly. "Ahhhh!" He growled. "Why-uh must there always be _one_ little ant who isn't in line doing their fuck-in_g _work hmm?" He asked more to himself.

As if on cue one of his henchmen came in with a piece of paper in hand.

The henchman sighed and turned around but froze when he was the Joker standing there. Oh shit.

The Joker whipped his demonic clown face towards the door glaring dangerously at his prey and made his head limp towards the left ever so slightly and slowly. As if the idiot standing there was a curious little creature that intrigued him a lot. He gripped his shotgun even more and hunched towards his prey even closer. "You wanna hear a joke?"

The henchman gulped.

The Joker sneered at him and tipped over on his feet. "That's great that ya do!!"

He cleared his throat. "So there was little boy named Peter…and he wanted a cookie, just one." He started to circle around his prey, breathing his putrid breath down the henchman's throat. "He went to his mommy and said," he paused to moisturize his already dry lips again. "Mommy, can I have a cookie please?" He stopped in front of the scared henchman's face. "Yes Peter. They're in the jar. Just take one." The shotgun was being teased into the mouth and eyes of the henchman and the Joker wheezed out a small giggle to see the fear of the pathetics little man in front of him. "But check it this, here's where it gets _really_ good," he said licking thoes red lips of his and nods his head rather savagely. "But Mommy," he said while swinging the shotgun from his shoulder and ruthlessly locked. "You know I don't have any _arms_." The Joker takes a minute to giggle and points the shotgun to the henchman's arm. "And then Mommy says…No arms, _no cookies._" And without hesitation he blew a bullet to the right arm.

The henchman howled in pain while the Joker cackled in hysteria. His dark eyes were glooming over his first delicious prey of the day as he shot the arm out of place. Now the henchman had lost both of his arms. The shotgun was immensely powerful and a harsh ripping noise was heard has the prey scrambled to the floor.

The Joker laughed harder as the blood was spreading all over his prey and he was twitching, losing consciousness quickly. "Ya see what happens when ya don't listen to _me_? Well, you get no _cookies_, my dear little nincompoop." The Joker registered a harsh blow to the henchman's gut as he emphazised oh the word 'cookies'. He looked down to the idiot and saw the bloody article. "Oooh." He said delightfully and picked it up. "Hmmm." He stepped on his prey's wounded shoulders and spat on him as he past him.

"Another Wayne party huh? Oooh! My new toy will be there!" The Joker giggled and crumpled the paper. He threw the bloody article towards the closest henchman and it hit him square on the face.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha!!!! Come on boys, we've got to get ready for the ball!!"

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ta-da D:


	9. A Hell of a Makeover and Schizophrenics

**hey sorry i took a while to update, school has been crazy! D:**

**sorry to say that the interaction between our beloved clowns will until the next chapter.**

**thank you all for your reviews!!!!**

**you guys are amazing!!!**

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Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke

**A Hell of a Makeover and Schizophrenics.**

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This is just what this harmless little brunette needed.

Having a knife on the side of her mouth; burning like if it was mercury being poured onto her skin. And of course let's not forget the side order to this platter: a psychotic demented clown about to tell her the ever changing story about his infamous scars. Some nice tears on her face and a wicked smile on his lips and that was a perfect scene for her life.

Melanie Coon was going over some bills and paperwork on her office desk before she spotted the Joker in her apartment bedroom. She had never seen that coming. Why would the Joker want to attack her in the first place anyway? I mean she was just an amateur makeup artist for an indie company. And this company helped out bands that wanted to get recognized.

She wasn't important in this city. How did he even find her? Why did he even want her?

But we'll come back to that later. Right now, Melanie Coon was cleaning up her area and just counting down the seconds until she left this place.

She was exhausted. The whole day she was barking orders to her interns on how to apply the makeup on the musicians. Oh that's right; Melanie was head of makeup of that company I mentioned earlier. But the good thing was that the revolution of the filming was over. Now she can go home and rest. But then the next day she has to go to a board meeting to her C.E.O, which was a first. Maybe she'll get a promotion. Like being Makeup Manager…hah, was there even a spot like that?

Melanie shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her leopard duffel bag and shut the lights.

* * *

"Will ya hold still for a moment?!"

"You're hurting me here, you know."

"Well I wouldn't be if ya stop acting like a squirming pig."

"Ouch, that hurt!"

"What being a pig?"

"No, my hair!"

"Quit whining Harleen!"

"…It hurts."

"Man, you're being so hard to deal with. There I'm all done."

Harleen frowned at Enid and clicked her heels all the way to the living room. Sometimes she doesn't even know why she lets Enid make her go through this. She glanced at herself in the mirror. Her frown became even deeper. She _really_ didn't know why she lets Enid do this to her.

Instead of looking at the seventeen year old girl who was a gymnast and top student who ate ice creams on her porch, she was looking at a young woman who seemed to enjoy the Gotham City nightlife. Her makeup was giving a smoky sensual side to her eyes and made them pop out even more. The rimmel also accentuated her lashes as well. To make things short, she wasn't the Harleen Quinzel you'd see every day.

She wasn't really okay with this but she'll at least give it a shot. Though, that eye shadow was sneering at her. Harleen looked around; the music was still blasting from her room. That meant that Enid was still in there. Okay, it wouldn't hurt anyone right? She touched her eye shadow and rubbed it off a bit.

But a hand pushed it away. Harleen had expected to see Enid about to scold her but instead she saw her mother.

"Stop that, you look fine. Now come, we need to leave now."

"Harleen! Here's your purse!"

Marley came dashing towards Harleen in a paisley pink fluffy dress with glitter in her eyes.

"Enid said that this purse matched your dress."

"…Thanks Marley."

* * *

Her feet were tired and were barely dragging her up the squeaking stairs.

A long sigh was released as she got to her apartment door. It was a relief that she can get out of these leopard print heels. Either her feet got bigger or there were rocks in them. Oh yes, and it was also a relief that she had gotten home safely. People could say that it wasn't safe out on the Gotham Streets. You have to pray every time you set foot on the streets to not get mugged, shot or killed. But ever since Harvey Dent put half the scum of Gotham away in bars; the air cleansed up and the tension faded away. So Melanie's hope raised more.

She opened her apartment door and shut it closed.

Though her apartment was small and it wasn't in a very clean building, it was cozy and silent. The thing that satisfied Melanie was that the walls weren't oozing smile and that the wallpaper did not cringe every time it rained. There were a few spring showers here and there but nothing out of the usual.

Melanie sat on her couch that her grandmother had won in a small sweepstakes. But she didn't like it so she gave it to her granddaughter.

Melanie grabbed the remote and turned on the news.

"Jesus Christ!"

The image of that stupid clown's grin made her pour the Luke-warm lemon tea all over her white t-shirt. "Shit." She mumbled as she looked down.

The tea had stain over the chest area. She got up, not even paying close attention to what really mattered at this moment: the report on the television news.

She stumbled into the bathroom with water running and scrubbing her shirt with a fluffy pink towel. She had accomplished to drown out the reporter's voice.

"_Now moving to other news. It seems that the Joker has escaped once again. Sources say that after he was caught and brought into the truck, the route wasn't directed to arrive at Arkham Asylum at all. If not, to the Joker's hideout. And to add more, some of these police officers were all in the plan. The commissioner has refused to talk deeply about this situation and give any important information. Until now, we have no idea of how they are dealing with this delicate situation. But here at the studio, we have precautions for you folks at home. These all relate to the Joker._

_1. You are advised to not leave the house alone._

_2. Have a weapon and cell phone near you at all times._

_3. Revise security all around your abode._

_4. Should you sight the Joker or anyone with a clown mask, do not dwell or confront them, but contact police headquarter or Gotham Major Crimes Unit._

…_Now on to happier news. Oh well, this might enlighten a few out there. Bruce Wayne is hosting a fundraiser as we speak; for the children of Gotham, "Give a cent, make a difference." Now isn't that something Jen…"_

Melanie was finally satisfied enough with that stupid stain and walked back to the couch, unaware of what was said. Her eyes turned to the T.V and a reporter was talking about some fundraiser Bruce Wayne was hosting.

"Huh."

She drank what was left of her tea and left to pay those bills.

It was a Saturday night, people were having fun, drinking champagne and eating delights while she was stuck at home paying her expenses and wasting her energy. Well, what was left of it.

After a long silence of scraping pencils and pens, turning of pages, tongue sticking out and glasses being pushed up several times. A door was heard being knocked.

Her door.

"Rossellini's Deli!"

Melanie cocked an eyebrow. She didn't remember ordering any Deli. Hmm maybe Mrs. Flakine ordered food for her. She always did that whenever Melanie was working late. Her stomach grumbled. Come to think of it, she was pretty hungry.

She slipped her slippers on and went to the door. She gave a long good stretch and she opened the door. As she focused her eyes on her visitor she let out a soundless scream and froze in place.

It was a man in a grotesque painted clown mask and a loud chuckle was heard from his throat. Melanie whimpered and tried to shut the door but the man slammed it against her. She ran towards her room with a scared look painted on her face.

She twirled on her feet and locked her door. Her heavy breathing was making the silence break and she could actually hear her heart beating. Oh God, what she going to do? What did this clown man want with her?

She grunted a whimper and took out her cell phone. Yes, call the cops. That seemed like a good idea. As she took the phone in her sweaty hand, a gun was heard being cocked.

Melanie froze and her oxygen seemed to be cut off. Somebody was in the room with _her._

"Ya know, I, uh, don't think that's a good idea."

Then out of the blue, a shot was fired and the phone shattered everywhere, sending a few parts into Melanie's face.

"Hahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry doll face, but I can't let ya do that. You'll ruin all my _fun_."

Melanie's shaking hand fell to her side and she turned her head ever so slowly. Tears falling down her face and sniffles were pronounced loudly. She gasped and slammed herself against the wall.

_Oh no…oh God no! Why me, oh shit, oh shit! _

There was that murdering freak she'd seen in the news and papers. Out of all the apartments in Gotham Fucking City, why the hell hers?!

He smiled peevishly at her and smacked those lips of his. His feet were swinging merrily on her bed; shoes still on, making the sheets dirty with whatever material they've stepped on.

"Evening, Me-la-nie."

Melanie looked around the room; searching for something to defend herself with. Maybe if she acted fast, she could run towards her kitchen and get the gun under the sink. Yeah, that seems like a good plan. But all that seemed to fall as she looked in those bright crazed pools of the Joker.

She blinked some more tears away and quivered harshly. "You're…you're that guy from the papers! The..Joker!" She stuttered, half yelling and pointing a finger at him.

Giving her a pouted frown, the Joker squint his charcoal eyes at her. "Aww gosh darn it! I guess I am huh? Tell me something; am I really that ugly in person, hmmm?"

Melanie just cried even harder.

The Joker giggled and put his gloved finger to his mouth clearly not paying attention to the woman in front of him. He got up in a swift movement and walked around. "Hmmm…or is it because I look fatter off T.V?" He asked himself more than Melanie.

His eyes turned back to her. She was still crying. He glared as he noticed that she was completely ignoring him! She's got some nerve…He snapped his blade out and twirled it around dangerously in his hands. He'll make her interested and make her smile.

But right now…she needed to do something for him.

He hovered over her and that seemed to shaken her even more. "Aww shush, shush, girl. Ya see I need a little favor from ya. I need to, uh, _enhance_ my looks." He danced from one foot to another and rolled his hands while he spoke. "I know that you paint people for fun and I thought, 'Hey, if she can help others, then she can help me!' I need you, 'cause I'm going to this party and I'm meeting someone special there. I _really_ need to look my, uh_ best._" He slapped her lightly on both cheeks and drawled himself onto her vanity. "So…make my beautiful scars vanish okay?"

Melanie was still in shock.

What the hell is going on?!

The Joker snapped his fingers. "Come on girly! I ain't got all night. Considering that I am already late."

Melanie flinched and run towards. _Just do what he says and maybe he'll go away faster. Oh my God…what am I getting myself into?_

The Joker sat down, hunched, and smoothen his greasy green hair to the back of his head. Melanie slowly walked to him, quivering at the thought of him here, looking at her through the mirror. She denied eye contact with him but she knew that his dangerous stare was on her. That's what made it harder for her to work.

The only lighting in the room was coming from the vanity light bulbs so it made the Joker look more demented than usual. Plus the only thing that was making noise was the beginning of the pitter patter of rain drops on her window and the smacking of his ghastly lips.

Melanie gulped and fragilely touched his hair.

"Er...well…y-y-you need to um…take off…th-th-he paint."

The Joker chewed on his scars and slapped his thighs. "…Wash away then." He growled, still having a knife at hand.

Melanie rushed into the bathroom to grab a new mug and filled it up with water and grabbed the cleansing cream. As she was walking out, she went back in for a towel.

When she returned to the vanity, she was that his purple overcoat was sprayed on the bed and his gloves were off.

She'd never seen him so quiet and still. She'd only him on the news. He seemed almost…normal.

The Joker glanced at her. She stumbled back and that made him sputter out a snicker but then he closed his eyes and leaned back on the chair.

Melanie hesitantly poured water on a cleansing cloth on his cheeks. Afraid, like if he a was rabid dog, waiting to pounce on her. _Hmmm, this paint comes off easily, this'll be quick-ahh his scars!_

As the cloth swept over them, she felt the wrinkles and squishy bumps of the damaged tissue…and the color…they seemed infected by the color rose that screamedthe word carnage all over the scars. Plus, the lines made them look disgusting.

She felt a bit of pity for the monster. But then she grimaced. _No, who cares? He probably got what he deserved._ She distracted herself by finishing wiping off the paint from his face and started with the cleansing cream.

_Wow, this is all too much. How can one have skin like this? But then again this is a person who has no home and is a psycho killer. _

"Hey, you're gonna use, uh, _concealing_ cream huh? I, uh, rather have spackle on my skin. I _reaaaally _need to make this scars go away like magic. Ya got spackle right?"

Melanie turned to her closet, trying to remember if she did have spackle. Yeah, the little box was right there on the floor. She really didn't use it on human skin, because of the toxic but this man's skin was already damaged, so what the hell? She should go for it. She nodded and began to tone and moisturize his skin with this special cream she had so she can apply the spackle.

She looked around her vanity for a small fan. She started to fan the Joker's face but then stopped when she heard the clicking of the blade in his hand. He seemed to get impatient. Melanie quivered and rapidly went for the spackle in her closet and poured on his face.

After she smoothen it out and paired the amount of spackle on his face he seemed like a man without any evidence with scars. He had really good features and looked like if he had a good life. The scars really did make a difference in his features.

To avoid anymore contact, she rushed towards her bathroom and put back her _used_ toiletries. She stayed in there to regain back her breath and tried to not show fear and tears once more. After what seemed like hours, she went back into her bedroom.

He was gone!

All trace of him was gone.

She rapidly went into the living room to see that it was quiet and empty as usual.

_Oh, God, he's gone. And he didn't kill me. I'm so lucky._

Melanie collapsed onto her couch and began to let out the sobs she forced to keep inside while the Joker was there. By every breath, beat and hiccupping she let out was a reminder that she was alive and didn't have to face the music…or in this case the jokes.

Just as all hope of the Joker being far, far away was shattered by a crash of a door with the wall.

There he stood once again, in his hunched pose. His eyes were looking crazed and straight at Melanie. Though he wasn't wearing his makeup, he still can intimidate a person.

"Ya know…I haven't paid ya at all, how…_inconsiderate _of me."

Melanie shook her head and let out a strangled sob. She wasn't over this just yet.

"T-that's fine, you d-d-do-"

The Joker made a garbled noise and shook his head violently.

"Naw, I want to pay up and I know just how…"

Suddenly he was at Melanie's side and he pulled her roughly by the hair. She let out a painful scream. The tears were flowing carelessly now. She didn't care anymore. She what was going to happen to her.

The Joker leaned into her face, inches away and smacked his lips.

"Wanna know how I got these scars?" He sneered.

Melanie was frozen.

"Well it's really simple actually. One day, I went to the dentist for my monthly check up and like any other kid, hated going." He gripped on her hair and pinched her shoulder with his knife, producing a cut. "So once I sat down, I noticed that the dentist had a crazed look in his eyes. He _laughed_ at my terrified glaze while putting a gas mask on me. Then he put nitrous oxide in my respiratory system, no oxygen, just nitrous oxide. Just enough ta make me feel…_dope…_ya know?" He paused to take a breath and moisturized his lips again. "You know what he said to me? He said, 'You need to and _smile,_ I can help you with that.' So, he snapped the mask off my nose and grabs a knife." His voice began to take a menacing drip to it. "He turned to me and he says, 'Open wide so I can put a smile on your cute little face.' He shoves the blade into my mouth and does to me." He pointed to the hidden scars, but Melanie knew that they were there. "And you know what the funny part of it was? That the doc was a schizoid! Hahahahahahahahahaha!! That really puts a smile on _my _face."

Melanie had shut her eyes; she did not want to see the eyes of this madman.

"Now sweet thing, I paid you by tellin' you my scar story but that isn't enough. Noooo, I'm going to repay you by using the doc's remedy on how to put smiles on you. As you can see, it really does work!"

His maniacal laughter rose even higher and it was more disturbing by the minute. Melanie was dying of shock and of fear. She couldn't move or even breathe at the time. She just let the Joker put the knife in her mouth and didn't do anything as she felt the pain and blood dripping out of her mouth. The slashes he was making with her mouth. Sure, the blood got onto his face, but he licked it all away and rolled his eyes in pleasure.

She didn't even feel when he stopped and didn't feel the big hole in her mouth now with a Glasgow smile. Or she didn't feel when she fell down onto her couch and began to drown in her blood.

Before the Joker stepped out the apartment, he turned his body towards the dying Melanie and put a pleasant smile on his face.

"Thanks for the makeover; it really is to _die_ for. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!"

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